Current:Home > Finance'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.-LoTradeCoin
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View Date:2025-01-11 09:34:10
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (84951)
Related
- Insurance magnate pleads guilty as government describes $2B scheme
- Megan Rapinoe's Pro Soccer Career Ends With an Injury and a Hug From Ali Krieger During Their Final Game
- Hamas-run health ministry releases video inside Al-Shifa hospital as Israeli forces encircle northern Gaza
- Israel agrees to daily 4-hour humanitarian pauses in northern Gaza fighting
- Michael Jordan and driver Tyler Reddick come up short in bid for NASCAR championship
- Illinois man dies after being fatally shot in face by fellow hunter, authorities say
- Hospitals have special protection under the rules of war. Why are they in the crosshairs in Gaza?
- Over half of Sudan’s population needs humanitarian aid after nearly 7 months of war, UN says
- Lou Donaldson, jazz saxophonist who blended many influences, dead at 98
- Vowing to “do it for the city,” Lewiston soccer team wins state title weeks after mass shooting
Ranking
- Tua Tagovailoa playing with confidence as Miami Dolphins hope MNF win can spark run
- 'Wait Wait' for November 11, 2023: With Not My Job guest John Stamos
- Israel loses to Kosovo in Euro 2024 qualifying game
- Sen. Tim Scott of South Carolina says he is dropping out of the 2024 GOP presidential race
- 4 arrested in California car insurance scam: 'Clearly a human in a bear suit'
- Hollywood agent's son arrested on suspicion of murder after torso found in dumpster
- Michael Thomas injury update: Saints WR ruled out after suffering knee injury vs. Vikings
- Jury clears ex-Milwaukee officer in off-duty death at his home
Recommendation
-
Today Reveals Hoda Kotb's Replacement
-
Patriots LB Ja’Whaun Bentley inactive against Colts in Frankfurt
-
E-readers listen up! If you regret your choice, here's how to return an Audible book.
-
US Rhodes scholars selected through in-person interviews for the first time since COVID pandemic
-
The 15 quickest pickup trucks MotorTrend has ever tested
-
Worried about AI hijacking your voice for a deepfake? This tool could help
-
With both homes at war, a Ukrainian mother in Gaza struggles to find new place to go with her 5 children
-
No. 3 Duke basketball loses to Caleb Love, No. 11 Arizona in top-15 showdown